Ocean Floor

Exodus 33:18- Lord, show me Your glory!

“Bring me joy, bring me peace, bring the chance to be free. Bring me anything that brings You glory. Cuz I know they’ll be days when this life brings me pain, but if that’s what it takes to Praise You. Jesus, bring the rain.”

Romans 7:18, “For what I am doing I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do.”

Sometimes God places us in situations we don’t understand just to see if our trust is really there.

“The same power that conquered the grave lives in me!”-Romans 8:11, Ephesians 1:19-20

“Believing what we can understand takes intellect, not faith. It is believing what we can’t understand that takes the faith that honors and pleases God.”

James 5:11, “Indeed we count them blessed who endure. You have heard of the perseverance of Job and seen the end intended by the Lord- that the Lord is very compassionate and merciful.”

I can’t really describe how I’m feeling. I want to glorify God and say, “Jesus, bring the rain. Bring me anything that brings you glory, even if it’s painful.” I pray that and then I get scared He’ll give me what I’ve asked for. I don’t actually want to feel the pain; it’s uncomfortable. But in order to bring God glory I know that sometimes it’s necessary; sometimes I need to endure and press on. My trials are not about my pain; they are about His glory. Something the Lord has been teaching me is that it’s hard to move forward when you’re living in the past, either bitter over something or wishing you had something, wishing you had done something differently, wishing you hadn’t done anything at all, or wishing more than anything else that you could take something back. It’s always towards the end of the month that Satan attacks my thoughts with deep regrets; that my focus is shifted from ministry to myself, from God to me, from the people here to my own life. It robs me of time, energy, and worry (the very things I tell the ladies at Bible Study not to do. Ha!) More importantly, it robs the Lord of glory, of using a once willing servant, of completing the work He’s started.

My heart has been hard toward the Lord and the things of the Lord for too long, and in coming here He has managed to break down so many of the walls I put up, as well as allow me to work on so many of the areas that were hindering my walk with Him. I feel freedom in some way, and I also feel so held back with thoughts of the past, mistakes I’ve made, people I’ve hurt, and things I can never take back. My transgressions, my willful acts of disobedience to the Lord have brought about consequences and great pain. My heart is broken, but healing. It is painful, as all the pieces are sort of scattered. On top of everything else here that completely breaks my heart everyday, I feel overwhelmed. I am broken over my sin, and cry out for forgiveness.

The Lord is great and greatly to be praised! My circumstances and feelings don’t change Him. He remains the same. I don’t want to look to the past to remember a time when I was near to God or when God was near to me in a certain way. I want my relationship with God to be richer and more blessed today than it’s ever been.

The ministries I’m serving in are amazing, the people I’m serving with are wonderful, and the people we get to serve are more of a blessing than I can put in words. Last Sunday I got to pray with an 11 year old boy to accept the Lord! Praise Him! I feel so blessed to be serving here, but my flesh gets in the way. Praise the Lord that the Spirit is greater than my flesh.

Heavenly Father, I thank You that Your mercies are new every morning and that Your forgiveness is freely given. Continue to show us our sin, so that we can confess it to You and ask for forgiveness. Rid us of every weight and sin that ensnares us, that we could run the race with endurance, forgetting the things that are behind, and pressing forward to the things which are ahead. Continue to teach us what it means to truly have faith in You and to truly depend on You. Forgive us of our doubt and unbelief. Help us to believe those things we know to be true. Help us to fall completely in love with You, absolutely surrendering all for Your glory. In Jesus’ name.

“Ocean Floor”

The mistakes I've made
That caused pain
I could have done without
All my selfish thoughts
All my pride
The things I hide
You have forgot about
They're all behind you
They'll never find you
They're on the ocean floor
Your sins are forgotten
They're on the bottom
Of the ocean floor
My misdeeds
All my greed
All the things that haunt me now
They're not a pretty sight to see
But they're wiped away
By a mighty, mighty wave
A mighty, mighty wave
Your sins are erased
And they are no more
They're out on the ocean floor
Take them away
To return no more
Take them away
To the ocean floor

This is the story of my life. “A thousand times I fail, still His mercy remains.”

the uttermost parts of Africa

On Friday afternoon we went to visit a Congolese refugee family (1 mom, 3 daughters, 1 son) that was chased out of Congo a year ago. When they moved here the mom was prostituting herself to get money, but has since given that up. They live in a place worse than the slums, but better than the refugee camp they were in. There are refugees from Rwanda and many other places that live by them. One of the guys who lives by them called the 7 year old daughter into his house and raped her only a month ago. She not only has to get tested because she could be HIV positive, but she has flashbacks every night when she’s trying to sleep. The lady’s son got ran over by a car and is in the hospital right now. All of this started happening after she gave her life to the Lord, and she now wants to commit suicide. Things affect me here, but this is one of the only things that has brought me to tears. Our hearts were broken for this family. We are in trying to find them new living arrangements right now, but it’s not easy. Please keep them in your prayers.

Friday night my bus left for what some would call one of “the uttermost parts of Africa”-Paidha Village in West Nile. It was the longest, most uncomfortable, claustrophobic bus ride of my life! But I’m not complaining…Praise the Lord we made it there safe. There were a couple times I was sure we were going to die. We arrived at the home we stayed at, at 4:30 AM, and because it’s a legit village there’s absolutely NO electricity, so it was pitch black, except for the small light coming out of the lantern.

Did I mention it was a LEGIT village?! I was so stoked! There were huts everywhere! They go gather water, the bathroom is a whole in the ground outside, and you bathe in a basin. The huts were surrounded by beautiful green grass, there were children playing everywhere, and the people were so sweet.

Our purpose in going there was to help the children’s ministry at the church and to do door to door evangelism. There are hundreds of kids there and they all love to come to church! We made bracelets and played games with them, and helped the leaders of the ministry. Then we did door to door evangelism where we got to encourage a lot of believers and share the gospel with the unsaved. Although we didn’t see anyone give their lives to the Lord as we went door to door, it was still such a blessing.

There’s a lot of spiritual warfare that goes on in that village, a lot of witchcraft. If you ask a lot of the people how they sleep at night, they’ll tell you not very well. There are many stories about witches bothering certain homes at night. Some of the parents who are into witchcraft or believe in it but don’t want to be bewitched will wear charms and have their children wear charms for protection. Many of the kids we saw came from homes like that, or homes where their parents just get drunk all the time. They were normally running around by themselves, or following us from hut to hut because their parents don’t take care of them.

Praise the Lord witches are threatened by Jesus and don’t bother believers. They just want Christians to leave them alone. So we didn’t really have to experience any spiritual warfare in that sense. The only thing I really experienced externally, was that I got really sick the second night we were there. To be sick in a village is not fun. I lost my appetite for the rest of the time, so I was feeling pretty weak for the last three days we were there.

I met a madman the last night we were there. He tried to steal something from someone and they bewitched him three months ago. Just a month ago he was trying to kill children. He was standing just outside the home I was staying at because he knew the family that lived there and was good friends with them before he went crazy. My friend talked to him and prayed for him, and then he wanted to talk to me and started walking towards me, so I made a b-line into the house. He wanted to come inside! We told him no, so he hung out outside for a while and eventually left.

We arrived back yesterday (Wednesday) to a warm “welcome back”. I love the church family here! This trip was amazing and one I will never forget. It taught me a lot about being grateful for what I have, (i.e. running water, electricity) and about my lack of patience and compassion; I'm praying the Lord works on those areas of my heart.

Some of the things the Lord showed me in His Word while I was there:

Hosea 10:12, “Sow for yourselves righteousness; reap in mercy; break up your fallow ground, for it is time to seek the LORD, till He comes and rains righteousness on you.”

Luke 5:16, “So He Himself often withdrew into the wilderness and prayed.”

Hebrews 11:25-26- Moses took the best the world had to offer and compared it to the worst the Lord had to offer and chose to follow the Lord, suffering affliction with the people of God rather than enjoying the passing pleasures of sin; esteeming the reproach of Christ greater than the treasures of this world.

Hebrews 12:28, “Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us have grace, by which we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear.”

The Lord is great and greatly to be praised! He is doing a great work in that village and I feel so blessed to have been able to be there, and to just be able to experience everything here. Like… white water rafting down the Nile in Jinja this weekend?! Ummm yes, please!

The Greatest Joy

The greatest joy is found when we are simply content in the Lord and the place in which He has us, despite our circumstances. It is then that He can and will use us and bless us beyond what we could’ve ever hoped or imagined. Lord, teach us what it means to be truly content, completely satisfied in You and You alone.

The past couple of weeks have been amazing, feeling so blessed to have the opportunity to serve in each and every ministry that the Lord has put before me, as well as a time of simply sitting at His feet.

Here are some updates of what’s been happening in the ministries I’m working with:

FRONTLINE: It has been such a blessing to get to know these boys and hear their testimonies. Their lives are incredible, and their stories really put into perspective the cares of this world and what’s important. I’ve been able to visit the Kisenyu slums, which are the slums where some of the boys who come to Frontline live and get high off things on the street, like paint and gas. I can’t even tell you how dark of a place those slums are; much different than the Kivulu slums. The boys there are not doing good. The place itself just looks so dark. There is fighting, they were getting high when we went, and I was kind of scared of some of the boys. There are “uncles” who work with the kids there, but I don’t think any of them are saved, and sometimes they smoke cigarettes and marijuana around the boys. They’re not good examples for them. And, unfortunately because of some things that have happened in the past, they don’t really like white people, mainly Americans being there with the kids. So, that made me feel horrible and kind of uncomfortable, but whatever, I’m not there for them. So, while we were there we helped take care of their wounds, cleaning them and bandaging them up (uhhhhh…blood is definitely not my thing, so Praise the Lord for His strength). I was happy to take care of the boys. There is a program that they have for them there that teaches them English and regular classes, because they don’t go to school. That’s good, but they’re not hearing about the Lord. So, we’re going to start going back probably once a week to share the Lord with them and help out with whatever we can; mainly, to just be a light there. We all left the slum feeling a huge burden for the boys and what’s going on there. The day after I felt all this anger, righteous anger, welling up inside of me. Anger at what’s going on, anger that Satan has such a hold there, and angry that the people working with the kids are terrible influences. And then I started to think about the righteous anger that must build up inside of God every time He looks at the earth and sees all the sin and depravity. I felt discouraged and was trying to think of the “magical cure” that’s going to change things. But the only thing I can do right now is pray and be Jesus to them. There is also a program starting up in Kivulu slums again, so we’ll be going there once a week as well. I’m excited to go spend time with the boys where they live, instead of just at the church.

There is this 11 year old boy named Alex, who’s in some of my pictures on Facebook, who lives on the street and actually sleeps on the street (not even in the slums, but in the taxi park). He has nothing but the clothes on his back. He comes from an abusive home, which is why he ran away. He has no idea what love is, like most of the kids, which also creates in them a lot of trust issues between them and everyone else. I felt the Lord putting it on my heart to start investing in him. So, I’ve started really building a relationship and a trust with him, playing a kind of motherly role in his life, just trying to show him what love is and that he deserves to be loved. He is so sweet, and I don’t understand how anyone could want to do anything but love him. I wanted to let him know what a blessing he is to me, so I gave him a note telling him how much Jesus loves him, and bought him some clothes; when I gave them to him you would’ve thought it was Christmas. After my friend Rita got done translating the letter to him, he said he wanted to accept the Lord! (That showed me that language barrier doesn’t necessarily have to be a barrier when it comes to Jesus. Praise Him!)  Neither of us asked him. So, I made sure he understood what it meant and prayed for him. Joy overwhelmed me! On Sunday we took the boys to Tigers Club, which is a club for street kids, where they can stay for a few months to a year and have medical care, schooling, food, teaching from the Bible, everything they need. I talked to the guy that works there about Alex, and after some hesitation, he said he want to start staying there. He now has shelter! Praise the Lord! The glorious ways that the Lord works!

LOVING HEARTS BABIES HOME: I get more and more attached to these kids every week. They are so sweet and just so lovable!

BAMBEJJA: There’s a new group of 20 girls that just started the program on October 5. I started a Bible Study with them that same day, and although it’s a voluntary program, many of the girls are very stubborn and hard-hearted. No one in the program is saved, but I have faith that the Lord can change all that. I’m hoping He’ll change just one heart before I leave. I would love to witness the transformation!

I finally got to start teaching the girls English. The girls are split up into groups depending on which grade they would be in and their reading level. I’m going to be working with the girls who either don’t know how to read and write at all, or those who know very little about reading, writing, and speaking English. It’s hard for me to grasp that there are 16-22 year old girls who have never gone to school and don’t even know how to read or write in their own language. But most of the girls are really eager to learn and that makes me excited to help them. As I was teaching the Bible Study the Lord started speaking to my heart, and even if I’ve heard these things a million times, it was like He was revealing them to me for the first time. When I complain it tells me that I’m not so much discontent or dissatisfied with my situation or circumstance, and as I am discontent and dissatisfied with the Lord. It hit me like a freight train. Discontent with the Lord…how terrible does it sound when you’re discontent with the God of this universe?! What right do I ever have to be discontent in Him? Discontent with the God who thought about you before the foundations of the earth, who made you and formed every part of you, and knows absolutely everything about you because He Loves You that much! The second thing was that Epaphroditus was sick and risked his life to do the Lord’s work (bring Paul money, bring the church encouragement). How much more should we be risking our lives to bring people the gospel? It spoke to me a lot because of the fear that I’ve been having since I’ve been here and especially going out into the villages. But God is so good!

JORDAN HOUSE: The first week of the Bible Study, I thought we were going to have 10 women and we had 34! The second week of the Bible Study, 42 women came! The third week, 46 women came! Praise the Lord! I was so stoked! They don’t have to come. They have jobs to do, families to support, and money they could be making to support their families. But they would rather be fed the Word of God; that they might feed their children spiritually. These women are amazing and so excited to hear the Word! Today was the third week I had Bible Study with them and I came in to them singing songs and praising the Lord. So after the Bible Study I had them sing a couple more songs and it was so fun to dance and listen to them sing, with no background instruments, just their voices. They are filled with so much joy, and I’m filled with joy just being around them.

Please pray for all these ministries. Pray that the unsaved would have softened and open hearts to hear the gospel, and that they would come to repentance and salvation. Pray that the saved would be refreshed and encouraged. Pray for their struggles each and everyday: illness, disease, poverty, famine, shelter, that the Lord would provide for them. Pray that the Lord would provide homes filled with the love of Christ for the kids living on the streets and for the babies in the orphanage. Pray that they would see Christ and know the love of Christ when we visit them, that we would reflect Jesus wherever we go and be able to effectively minister to His people.

Tomorrow I leave for my first mission trip. I’m going to West Nile to do some work with a children’s ministry at a church out there and to do door to door evangelism in the village. I’m so stoked! I don’t really know what to expect, but most places outside the city of Kampala are villages, where the majority of the people are Muslim or have never heard about Jesus. I can’t imagine what it’s going to be like to talk to someone who has never heard the name of Jesus. The spiritual warfare has to be like nothing I’ve ever encountered. All I know is what I’ve heard, and I’ve heard some really crazy stuff happens in these villages: people manifesting themselves, different things happening when people are prayed over. Because there are many Muslims in the villages, there are witch doctors and a lot of witchcraft takes place there. Aside from the spiritual warfare, I don’t know if any village is necessarily “safe”, but the Lord doesn’t call us to go where it’s safe. He just calls us to go, and we’re invincible until He’s done with us. Please pray that the Lord would be glorified and that when people look at us they will see Jesus, first and foremost; that the unsaved would come to repentance and salvation; that it would be a time of refreshment and encouragement for His saints; and for spiritual warfare and safety. I’m so stoked to see the Lord work! God is so good!

I have been so in awe of the Lord lately. Some of the things He’s been encouraging me with the past couple of weeks:

*Having an eternal perspective. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18, “Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.”

*God hears every prayer we pray, no matter how He chooses to answer it, and He sees our tears. We are not alone. Even when we feel deserted and abandoned, He is there.

*God is always there, calling us and pursuing us. He’s just waiting for us to respond, because He won’t force His love on anyone.

*Daniel has quickly become one of my favorite people in the Bible. The more I learn about him, the more I want to be like him. He greatly loved God and the Word of God; he was committed to God; he trusted in God; the Holy God was manifested in the holiness of Daniel; he lived a pure, clean life; the only way anyone could find fault in him was concerning his God; he spent much time in prayer and fasting, denying his flesh and waiting on the Lord; Daniel still prayed three times a day, out in the open with nothing to hide after the decree was signed, as he wasn’t afraid of what people would do to him; he knew the Lord was faithful to deliver him from any trial, and his story is proof that we are invincible until the Lord is done with us. His only desire was to serve the Lord. What a man of God!

*We are the Lord’s representatives. God has been so misrepresented by those who people who are called by His name. People have such a false concept of God because the people “representing God” have so misrepresented Him. People are drawing their opinions about God by what they see in us. That’s a heavy responsibility. We may be the only Jesus someone ever sees. Let’s represent Him well.

*Psalm 66:12, “We went through fire and through water; But You brought us out to rich fulfillment.” We will always go through struggles and trials, but we don’t have to be burned by the fire or overtaken by the water. As long as we’re clinging to the Lord and trusting Him during trials, He will bring us out to abundance!

God is so good! He is great and greatly to be praised! He is doing amazing things here, and I know that a great part of His work is because of prayer. “Where prayer is focused, power falls.” Thank you all so much for your prayers and support. I appreciate them more than you know. I love you all very much!

God is so good!

The Lord is so good! Can I please tell you just a couple of the things He’s been showing me just in the past couple of days? Ok.

*1 Corinthians 16:13-14, “Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong. Let all that you do be done with love.”  Should be my life verse, especially while I’m here.

*1 Corinthians 2:9, “Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.” The God of this universe has prepared things for us, not only here on earth, but He has prepared Heaven and the things of Heaven for us! We cannot even begin to fathom the things the Lord has prepared for us, because He loves us, and all He asks is that we love Him.

Ephesians 3:17-20 and Romans 8:38-39- God. Loves. Us. Nothing can separate us from that. Nothing. He wants us to know He loves us and He wants us to understand the depth of His love for us. Will we? Probably not. But, He wants us to know and that’s what’s important. I like to think of it like this: you know how when you’ve made something really special for someone, and you’ve spent hours upon hours making it for them, because you love them and you know that it’s going to bring such a joy to their lives? You just want to bless them and show them how much you care about them and that you were thinking about them. That’s how it is with God! Only like 50 bazillion times more, because He loves us more, blesses us on a regular basis, and has spent so much time preparing not only Heaven for us, but everything that happens everyday for us! God is thinking about us all the time, and even though we hurt Him, He does not withhold blessings from us. His love is unconditional, whereas ours can be, and is many times, conditional. He blesses when we don’t deserve it. We bless, most of the time, when it’s convenient or feels good to bless. But God is always good, so He always blesses.

*In doing my studies over Philippians, I have been looking at the suffering that Paul went through. In Acts he talks about how he’s ready to die for Jesus. In 1 Corinthians 4 and 2 Corinthians 11 we see the way Paul was treated; the persecution, (being beaten and stoned) facing hunger and thirst, being despised and defamed, to truly suffer for Christ’s sake. And in all this, he says, “I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content.” (Phil. 4:11) Let us learn what it means to be content; to be truly satisfied in the Lord. To lack everything this world has to offer and be ok, because we still have the Lord. Paul knew his suffering was for the gospel’s sake, and he endured. He knew the Lord had a plan in it. Even though Paul faced all this persecution he stayed bold in sharing his faith. Would there be nothing greater than to be persecuted and suffer for Christ? For the gospel’s sake? John 15:13- “The greatest love is to lay down one’s life for his friends.” Is Jesus not our friend? He is our best friend! Let us be willing to lay down our lives for Him, to absolutely surrender to Him everything in our lives, our whole being.

*1 Corinthians 8:29-31- The time is short and the form of this world is passing away.

*1 Corinthians 9:16, “For if I preach the gospel, I have nothing to boast of, for necessity is laid upon me; yes, woe is me if I do not preach the gospel.” Jeremiah 20:9, “But His Word was in my heart like a burning fire shut up in my bones; I was weary of holding it back, and I could not.”

*Wilderness experiences, according to Chuck Smith. The purpose of our legitimate wilderness experiences is that God uses them to prepare us to enter into the blessings He has for us and get us where we are going with Him. But is we resist His work in our lives and allow the wilderness experiences to make us bitter, and we don’t trust Him, but rebel against Him, we will find ourselves spending much more time in the wilderness than was necessary and than what He intended, which will be an illegitimate wilderness experience. Legitimate wilderness experiences are important parts of our growth as children of God. Illegitimate wilderness experiences are a complete waste of time.

On Monday I spent some time at the orphanage holding the sweetest babies ever. These children are so happy and so lovable. You just want to squeeze them! :) You would never know half the things these children have already been through by looking at their faces. They are so precious. I fed some of the 1-5 month olds and rocked them to sleep. It was amazing!

On Tuesday I taught a Bible Study with the girls at Bambejja, and they helped teach me more Luganda. Next week there will be a new group of girls coming in, so I’ll be teaching a Bible study as well as English, which I’m excited about.

Wednesday I had a Frontline meeting to go to. We’re going to a different slum next Wednesday, one where most of the boys who come on Saturdays live, and this is the slum where most of them get high. I guess there’s a lot of pretty crazy stuff that goes on there. I’m excited to finally be able to go. After the meeting I went to church, and got to pray with two girls to rededicate their lives to the Lord! Praise Him!

Thursday I taught my first Bible Study with the women of Jordan House (this is the widows and childrens ministry that’s located in the slums). I was expecting 10 women to show up and 34 women came! Praise the Lord! These women are so hungry for the Word and they are so excited about the Lord! I wish that I had the faith of some of them. Even though their situations look heartbreaking from an outside perspective, their faith doesn’t waiver. If anything it’s made stronger. It’s incredible! They love the Lord so much! Their hearts are filled with so much gratitude for any sort of teaching. We have so much teaching available pretty much anytime we want, and sometimes we don’t even go to church; we take it for granted. These women are starving for one or two teachings a week. Their hearts are so open to what the Lord wants to speak to them and they are so encouraged. He is going to do a mighty work in their lives. I just know it. They are so willing to allow Him work and to speak. It was such a blessing to be there and be a part of it.

As I prepare myself for this next month and the mission trips I’ll be going on, I get more and more excited, and more and more fear seems to overwhelm me. Fear about the things I’ll see and the things I’ll experience. Satan has even been attacking my dreams lately, some of the scariest dreams I’ve ever had. I keep hearing crazy stories about some of the things that happen in the villages I’ll be going to and I can’t believe I’m going. I don’t know if I’m ready for it or not, but I know the Lord has work He wants to do there and I want to be a part of it.

“God promises us many things, but He doesn’t promise us tomorrow.”

Romans 12:9-12, “Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, fervent in prayer.”

The Lord has been teaching me a lot about seeking Him now, because we aren’t promised tomorrow. Just like we evangelize to people all the time, “Today is the day of salvation, get right with the Lord now”, it’s the same for us too. Isaiah 32:17- God wants us to have a right relationship with Him and a right relationship with others, but we can’t have one without the other. When our relationship with God is right, our relationships with others will be right. And that will give us a life of peace, quietness, and assurance.

He is teaching me more and more about contentment and my complaining heart. These people have nothing and yet, you look at the faces of these kids and they are so happy. They don’t know they are lacking everything convenient, and everything unnecessary. The Lord gives them what they need for the day. He truly provides them with manna. I’m realizing I’m the one who has nothing, because I have everything. I don’t have to trust in the Lord for anything really, most of the time, because everything I want and need is pretty much at my fingertips. But for the people here, it’s not. Their dependency must be on something/ someone greater than themselves, and hopefully it’s in the Lord. They are content with nothing, and I am discontent with everything.

He is also teaching me to remember that He is a God of restoration, and the things that we can’t fix He can.

Psalm 136 and Psalm 33- God is great and He does wonderful things!

This weekend was so much fun! I’m so excited about the awesome ministry opportunities that are to come, especially this next month. The Lord is gonna do some amazing things, but I’m also anticipating it being rather difficult because of that. Satan will be working over time.

On Saturday we had sports day with the kids. We took them to a sports field to play basketball and football (soccer). They are some rowdy boys! As hard as I tried to get in there and play with them I was kind of scared for my life haha. After an hour or so of playing, we sat them down, did a skit for them on the story of Hannah, fed them, and off we went to one of the greatest nights of my life….Love Kampala Festival. It was probably the biggest festival Uganda’s ever seen, so I’m not gonna lie, I was a little nervous someone was gonna start dropping bombs, but Praise the Lord everything went really smooth! Thank you if you were praying. It reminded me a lot of the outreach we did last semester only on a much bigger scale. It was sort of like being at a Uganda Hillsong concert. They had motocross, a huge kids area with blow up castles and face painting, lots of food, a message, and lots of music. Papa San is this pretty big artist from Jamaica, who sings reggae music, and everyone loves him here, so when he got up to play everyone went crazy! I hadn’t danced so much in such a long time! Everyone here loves to dance, so it was so much fun! A lot of times even when the kids don’t have food, they’re content if they’re dancing.

The worship was really good too! As I listened, the words to Hosanna really tugged at my heart:

Heal my heart and make it clean

Open up my eyes to the things unseen

Show me how to love like You have loved me

Break my heart for what breaks Yours

Everything I am for Your Kingdoms cause

As I walk from earth into eternity

Let that be our prayer!!!

We had so much fun that Sunday after church we went back for the rest of the day. A lot of the kids came back too, which was awesome. It was pretty much the exact same thing again, but we had just as much fun as if we hadn’t been there the night before. My feet ached and my legs hurt, but it was all worth it!

I am broken...

So this week, I’ve been very busy, doing a lot of different ministries, but also taking a lot of time to read the Word and study a lot for the Bible studies I’ll be teaching while I’m here. Everything here is growing and stretching me, and preparing for Bible studies is teaching me so much!

Last Saturday the Frontline boys all got tested for HIV and AIDS. Most of them came back negative, but I think a couple came back positive L I love these kids so much, but some of them only speak Luganda, so the language barrier can be a huge hindrance, so I’m trying to learn some Luganda J I can speak about six words right now haha, but it’s enough to get me by. I’m starting to develop some sweet relationships with some of them though and I have so much fun just hanging out with them. They had this project they had to do from the week before, where they got in groups, were given a camera, and went out and took pictures of their favorite things or how they liked to spend their time. The winning picture was of a boy against a wall holding an empty cup and a woman in the back making food. The boy who took the picture said it symbolized the suffering they had to go through. Other pictures we saw were of the kids searching for coins and doing their laundry in the dirtiest, most disease infested water! So sad.

After working at Frontline, some of the people I work with took me to this annual Festival of the Arts, which was amazing! There were African dancers from Rwanda, a fashion show, and the Bayimba Kids Choir, made up of these orphan children, who were so cute! They sang and danced about the Lord, and so we sang and danced about the Lord! It was awesome! I was so stoked to finally get to show off my moves, and let me tell you, my African friends were thoroughly impressed ;) haha

Every Sunday morning there’s a service for the Frontline boys, and this week was my first Sunday with them. It was great, and then I went to the regular service. I love the worship here, and the teaching is always really good!

On the taxi ride home I got to share a little about Jesus with the guy sitting next to me. He said he knew about Jesus but that no one had ever sat down and talked to him about Him, so I was super excited to tell him. About the time I got started really talking to him it was his stop, but I’m hoping somehow I’ll see him again and get to tell him the Good News. The rest of my day was spent studying for a Bible study and resting, as I’ve been battling with a terrible cold. I’m praying it goes away fast so it doesn’t affect anything here.

The Lord is opening up so many doors and I’m beginning to be overwhelmed, but in a good way! I’m really stoked about all the opportunities He’s blessing me with! I never dreamed about doing ¾ of the things I’m doing here, but it’s all really good! I just feel so ill-equipped for all of this, but I’m willing to do it if this is what He’s calling me to.

Monday I went to the orphanage again and hung out with the kids J I held 3 week old Moses for as long as I possibly could. If there was one kid I could adopt while I was here it would be him. He is the sweetest thing. He is one that was left in a plastic bag on the side of the road by his mother. Someone walked by and kicked the bag and heard him cry. He came to the orphanage pretty much right after he was born.

Tuesday I taught my first Bible study with the girls of Bambejja. They were all so sweet and so grateful. I didn’t think I was going to have to share this week, but that I would just be introducing myself and getting to know them, so I had to think on my toes. But the Lord totally provided the words and I simply shared God’s love with them. They were so excited to have a white person teaching haha Most of them said they were saved, but a few of them were Muslim, so I tried to answer their questions about Jesus and God. There was one girl named Jackie, who said she loved God and wanted to be saved and forgiven, but she wanted to wait til next month for some reason. I gave her the “Repent brethren! For the Kingdom of God is at hand/ Today is the day of Salvation” talk. She said, “Ok, maybe when you come back Thursday.” I’m praying for her. To see someone come to the Lord here would be amazing!

Wednesday I went out into the slums again to visit some of the kids that come to Frontline. We sat and talked with them and I made a bracelet, which I was pretty stoked about J Then we had a Frontline meeting, where we talked about “contentment” and I realized just how discontent I am. And we found out that one of the kids that’s been part of the ministry for a while now was preaching on the street corner! Praise the Lord! I was blown away! Then I went to church, where the message totally convicted my heart, I pretty much had to rededicate my life to the Lord, and I came home.

Thursday (today) as I sit here and write this (everything else has been written throughout the week, even the things below) I can’t really describe to you how I’m feeling. I’m broken. The Lord is breaking me of so many things. It is painful and honestly, I can’t tell you I’m excited for the rest of it. The only thing I’m excited for is the outcome. The Lord is showing me things here and within myself that I never thought I would see, that I never wanted to see within myself. As the Lord continues to work, Satan continues to attack, more and more each day. I am exhausted and I am weary; I feel so alone and yet I know I’m not. I’m here to do the Lord’s work, but in myself I am not equipped. My full dependence must be on Him. I feel a heaviness today that I haven’t felt in a long time! A heaviness for the people of Uganda, the things I see, and the things I would never want to see; and a heaviness within myself. My heart is burdened. I am broken.

Here are some of the things the Lord has been teaching me:

LOVE, LOVE, and more LOVE!!! But, in order to have a love like Christ’s, I need to have a life like Christ’s; His compassion needs to be the very breath and joy of my life.

Prayer, prayer, and more prayer! The Lord attaches great importance to the things that concern me; even those things that may seem insignificant. And He wants to have amazing fellowship with me, so I need to bring everything to Him, even those things that seem insignificant.

Isaiah 1:18-20- God was still patient and longsuffering, despite His people’s continual sin. He offered them a solution to their suffering. They could either choose to be obedient and be blessed, or to rebel and be devoured.

Realizing that God is on the throne all the time, not just in times of desperation. Anything that obstructs my view of God needs to die, so that I can see Him high and lifted up.

Isaiah 6:8-“Whom shall I send and who will go for Us? Then I said, ‘Here am I! Send me.”

He’s teaching me to find joy and contentment solely in Him.

Thank you so much for all your love, support, and prayers! Words alone cannot express my gratitude, but know that each and every post on my wall makes me smile a whole bunch! Your prayers are definitely felt over here, as I feel the Lord working in the ministries I’m a part of, as well as in my life personally so much! He is incredible! Akwagalanyo! That means I love you in Luganda J

Phil. 1:3-9- “I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy, for your fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ; just as it is right for me to think this of you all, because I HAVE YOU IN MY HEART, inasmuch as both in my chains and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel, you all are partakers of me with grace. For God is my witness, HOW GREATLY I LONG FOR YOU ALL WITH THE AFFECTION OF JESUS CHRIST. And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment, that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ, being filled with the fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.”

orphans, widows, and girls at risk

James 1:27, "Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world."

Thursday was my first day at the Jordan House, which is right in the middle of one of the slums. I went there to get a tour and we walked around to check in on some of the women and children. There is a residential facility for orphans from young to like 19 years old or so, and the women who live in "rooms" in the slums are widows who have anywhere from 2-5 children, most with different fathers, as polygamy is huge here! They get pregnant and a lot of times the men leave them. We prayed over an old lady who had malaria, she was very weak and wasn't well at all. We visited a few different ladies, talked to them and prayed with them in their rooms. The women make beads out of paper (it's really cool!) and turn them into necklaces, and then the woman who owns the facility has them taken to Australia and she sells them and that's how the women in the slums make money. The necklaces are beautiful! You would never know they were made out of paper.

We went to see this woman who had four children, one who was younger than a year, and her oldest was 6 years old. The mother had her six year old daughter give the baby a bath and she put the baby in boiling water! The baby suffered third degree burns and the mom didn't tell anyone. Praise the Lord she's ok and she's one of the happiest babies! So we saw the mom and her children. The mom has HIV and one of her four children also has HIV. They are being treated and will probably live 15-20 years. As we prayed over them I held back tears, but as soon as we walked out they came streaming down my face. This was even harder to see than the slum I saw Wednesday with the kids. It's something undesribable... overwhelming...i was left speechless. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but it continues to put things into perspective and is making me truly grateful for what I have. These people have nothing!! Nothing!! But they are some of the happiest people I have ever seen!

I have the blessing of being able to go there every Thursday from now on to teach a Bible study with the women in the morning and do house visits in the afternoon.

Today (Friday) I went to check out this other organization called "Bombejja", which means "princess" in Luganda. It's a project foused on women at risk and children in the community. The girls are between the ages of 16-22 and the children there are in grade school. All of them come from abusive homes, and/or their parents have left them or died. The kids go to school during the day, and some of the kids and girls live there. I will be going there two days a week, teaching a Bible study for the girls and teaching some of them English. I've never done either of those things, so the Lord is totally taking me out of my comfort zone and stretching me. I can't believe I'm going to teach English haha! I have enough trouble speaking it myself. I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to share with them and teach them!

Getting home today was a trip! It's so hard to get around here, because you have to take taxis everywhere, which are big vans that are supposed to hold 14 people, but hold 16-17 people) and it's super confusing! It took me about two hours to get home, when it should've probably taken an hour at the most. The people drive so crazy here! They hardly ever stop, and pedestrians DO NOT have the right of way. If the vehicle is bigger than you, you have to move! That's like the only rule of the road. Or you will get run over! In order to cross the street you have to weave in and out of cars and just pray a lot! Well, the kids were getting out of school, the taxis are driving really fast, one boy thought he could run right out into traffic and make it across the street, and my taxi driver hit him. It caused chaos in the street and I really thought someone was gonna get shot, but everyone was ok. The boy got right up and walked to the side of the road. Praise the Lord! But everyone was rioting! It was crazy! I'm absolutely exhausted today!

Lord, give me strength, give me Your love and a heart of compassion. Give me a prayerful spirit, one of intercession for them. Pour out your grace and mercy on every one of these people. Let Your hand of protection be upon them. Strengthen them. Heal them, if it be Your will. Pour out Your love on them. Lord, teach me to be content in everything and grateful for everything. In Jesus name.

Prayer requests: For the women and children here. For the Bible studies that I feel so privileged to be able to teach- that it would be the Lord's words and not mine. That the Holy Spirit would speak to them through it and they would walk away feeling the love of Christ! Please pray for the Christian music festivals that are going to the happening here. I think there is one this weekend and there's one the weekend of the 24-25, which is supposed to be the biggest festival Uganda's ever seen or something, so it's probably high risk for a bombing.